Thursday, November 15, 2007

It Is Internet Marketing Doublespeak - The Offer Is Free (But It Is Not Free)

Imagine my surprise in mid-October when I opened my e-mail business relationship and establish this greeting from an evident large clip Internet Selling guru: "I'm giving you free tickets to a world-class Internet Wealth-Building Workshop, being held in Seattle . . . "

As if that were not enough, the guru then offered to come in my name into a drawing for "a free 30-Minute Consultation (valued at $798) with one of my personal squad of Internet selling specializers who work on my $60,000,000 concerns . . . "

Wow, can you believe person would bear down $798 for a 30-minute consultation? I wondered how much of the $798 per one-half hr the guru would pay his selling specializer who did the consulting for him.

The guru pointed out that a seminar of this quality would normally be $1,500 to $4,950 for the two-day presentation.

Now this was not some "puny" guru devising only $100,000 a twelvemonth on the side (generally working only one or two hours a day), or even some more than successful guru knocking down a million a twelvemonth in gross with an machine-controlled system that lets him to be practically vacationing twelvemonth around on some alien island.

No sir, some would see this guru to be the guru of gurus. Sixty million dollars in gross (not nett income) is an impressive figure, unless, of course, your operating costs are $61 million. Clearly, this guru is recognized as very successful at what he is doing, and I make not doubt it.

After being reassured in his e-mail that "There's no catch, your tickets are 100% FREE," how could I miss? I did what any good, unsuspicious newbie would do, I clicked on the nexus to claim my free tickets (I knew they were really free because he kept putting the word free into all caps, as in FREE).

Immediately I was taken to what is called a gross gross sales page (in this case, sales pages as the offering went on for 32 pages). I was thankful I had put aside some reading clip to take advantage of the offer.

After being reassured that I would larn "How to Turn A Wildly Lucrative Internet Business In 45 Days Using A Favorite Avocation Or Occupation . . . And Brand Associate In Nursing Extra $8,750-$12,500 Per Calendar Month Investing As Little As 10 Hours Per Week" I was encouraged to register immediately in order to measure up for the "30-Minute Consultation" as the first 100 people to register would be automatically entered in the drawing.

This impulse to register was followed by a adroit countdown device that showed the estimated clip left to measure up for the consultation, and you could experience it counting down in the days, hours, proceedings and secs left to measure up (I am certain this had nil to make with pressuring the prospect; obviously this was only intended to make the prospect aware of a lost opportunity).

It all sounded really great, and apparently anyone could do it because there followed three personal narratives and testimonies by "Unlikely Entrepreneurs" who had made it happen. "So, What's The Catch?" asked the e-mail. Answer: There is none, "And yes, your ticket will be 100% FREE!"

A elaborate account of the stuff to be shared in the 11 Wealth-Building Roger Sessions followed, and then no less than 13 more than testimonies about the admirability of it all, followed by another 10 outstanding adverts of the fact that the tickets are FREE, the last 1 saying "So there's no catch. Your tickets are 100% FREE!"

And then this: "All Iodine inquire is that to maintain tire-kickers World Health Organization have got NO purpose of coming from filling seats, you must delight modesty your place with a little $97 sedimentation which will be promptly refunded when you go to the event!

"I'm sure you'll hold this is both a just and sensible request, since I'm spending over $57,592.82 to host this event." (At the $97 rate, it would apparently take 594 sellers registering to cover his up front costs. I believe I am being made to experience bad if I make not pony up for an event he chose to offer and fund.)

After being admonished again to subscribe up now if not sooner, I chink to the enrollment word form only to larn that "I hold to pay a little refundable place reserve sedimentation of United States $97 per ticket to turn out my committedness to being there. I cognize that, as promised - I'll acquire back my full $97 per ticket after I go to the seminar!"

(Did I just understand the writer to state that my $97 sedimentation will be refunded after I go to the seminar, and it is over? No, silly. I believe he said that after attending his seminar, learning and retaining the information received, I will more than reimburse my $97 seminar investing in the net income I will do when applying his techniques and secrets.)

So the existent ticket to his seminar is free, but it is not free. Friend, you are not going unless you pony up the $97. I had thought the word free meant without charge. Maybe that was just where I grew up.

The last paragraph of this 32-page gross sales pitch had this in its disclaimer: "if for any ground we necessitate to call off this event (for example, because of bad weather condition or because lone a couple of people registered) we will return your place reserve fee, but we will not be held responsible for any further disbursals you many incur preparing to go to this event (like making hotel reservations, taking a twenty-four hours off of work, or renting a auto to attend)."

It got me to thought that if the seminar is in fact worth $1,500 to $4,950, $97 would look to be a very sensible price. Why not just state so up front, instead of lulling people along before you convey down the hammer?

Perhaps because saying so up front would immediately do a batch of sellers to travel on without reading the full 32-page gross sales pitch? All of which proves, I guess, that if you utilize the word free enough times, sellers will read 32 pages of whatever it is you are hawking.

This selling expression for authorship a gross sales pitch is hardly unique. Almost any seller can open up his or her e-mail tomorrow and read the same expression repeated in 100 different gross sales pitches for another chance to supply a product, service, or go to a seminar. The pitch will be in English, the linguistic communication will be in doublespeak.

Copyright © 2006 Erectile Dysfunction Bagley

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